Wednesday, September 27, 2006

25 Sept. 2006 Estella to Los Arcos

Dear Aymery

Left this morning a little lighter - while I was in the shower, I was robbed. My ruck was thoroughly searched and a lot taken. my first aid kit (thankfully, I kept my meds separate), my green CF fleecy which not only I liked a lot but which kept me warm on cool mornings and evenings, flashlight, compass, jacket, socks, some papers and my compass. It left a really sour taste in my mouth. When you don´t have much with you to start with, it rather hurts. I´m mostly worried about the lack of sweater and jacket as the weather is variable. I walked along in a relatively pissed off mood. This plus my aching knee and cool, windy and cloudy weather were a poor mix.

Reached Fuente del Vino in about 35 minutes and enjoyed some wine from the fountain. Toasted Canada and all my family and friends to the camera but didn´t call anyone as its about 2:45 am in Canada.

Walked on through farm fields and vinyards. Kind of grazed on walnuts, almonds, olives and grapes (lots of grapes) along the way. About 2 km from Los Arcos, I met my Irish and Swedish friends. However, my knee really began to hurt so I paused while they went on their way.

Finally made it into Los Arcos. where I found the albergue, the farmacia and the church. The church is stunningly beautiful. The ´retablo´or screen behind the altar is breathtaking. and on all sides you see magnificant paintings and sculptures. I called Michael to wish him a ´happy birthday´- not sure if I will have a connection tommorrow. Got to speak with Michael, Danielle, Ally and John. They are all in Amsterdam to celebrate his birthday and just hang out. They seem to be having a great time! I am a lucky man.

Had a nice dinner and went to bed.

Ultreya

Monday, September 25, 2006

24 Sept 2006 Puente la Reina to Estella

Dear Aymery

Said ´goodbye´to my Canadian friends as they set off on other parts of their trip. Left the albergue and followed a generally uphill track. The weather is cool and cloudy but so far the rain has held off. A generally pretty route past olive groves. Near Cirauqui, it began to rain and out came the poncho. It never rained hard but the constant drizzle was enough to turn the Camino into a very slick track. Entered Cirauqui and ground my way up nearly vertical streets to a small self-serve ´selló´or stamp for my credential. Just past that covered archway, my right knee gave out. I went down like a sack of potatoes. The pain was something memorable, believe me! I struggled over to a bench in the square and more or less pulled myself together. Dug out a knee brace that I had packed just in case and hoped it would work. After about 1/2 hour of sitting in the rain, alternatively hurting and feeling sorry for myself, I decided to move on. It is Sunday and nothing is open. Soooo, not much choice.

For 15 km, I moved at an absolute snail´s pace. As long as I moved slowly and kept little pressure on it, I was OK. Alter that, and I´m sure you could have heard me in Toronto. That plus the drizzling rain made for a glum day. The bright spot was a person I had met at an albergue the other day. Bernadette is an Irish immigration lawyer and she decided to slow her pace and keep me company. Between many pauses, halts, etc, we passed the rest of the day talking and debating everything from law through philosophy, politics, etc. The time passed and eventually, after 15 very difficult km, we reached Estella. I got a bed in the albergue and simply dropped onto it and fell asleep.

A couple hours later, I was woken up to the sound of people talking about me - it was my Swedish and Irish friend come to get me for dinner. A long shower and change of clothes (plus Dr. G.´s prescription) and I felt good enough to go out for dinner. The evening was pleasant and the swelling in my knee went down. Who knows what tomorrow will bring but I will NOT forget today!

Ultreya

23 Sept 2006 Pamplona to Puente la Reina

Dear Aymory

Left about 8:15 am. Beautiful day. The plan is to go to Uterga making this a shorter day of 17 km. It was a pleasant walk out of town. Stopped by an albergue run by the Order of St. John The Knights Hospitaller. No-one around but most albergues close their doors about 8:30 / 9:00 am anyways until about 3:00 pm. Tooks pics of the castle and flag.

On we went on a generally flat trail. BUT, I knew we were facing the Alto de Perdon, about a 2,500 foot climb to the top of a wind-swept ridge, lined with dozens of windmills. (You just HAVE to know that any place with the words 'height' and 'forgiveness' is NOT going to be a fun place!) It was a long, hard climb! Called Danielle from the summit and we had a nice chat :) Going down from the summit was VERY VERY hard. It was treacherously steep and rubble-strewn and my knee screamed. But, made it eventually. Limped on along laneways and footpaths lined with wild orchids, hyacinths and almond trees. Eventually we reached Uterga. Not a single bed available in the entire town! This is major! Normally, it wouldn´t be a big deal but here it is. When you are travelling on foot, everything is magnified. Options shrink, dramatically and problems intensify - weather, pain, distances to be covered, tireness, etc.

With no other options, we trudged on. hoping for the next town. In Obaños, there was an albeque - full. (The history of this village is interesting as it surrounds a silver-coated skull in the local church.) We ended up tramping another 11 km to Puente la Reina. There was a local fiesta including running bulls down the main street. We had a detour which took us off track and, with some difficulty found an albergue with 4 beds. It was 350 meters virtually straight up a ridge. I could have died!!! I struggled up, dragged myself in and, along with the others, collapsed into chairs by the bar.

After about an hour, we managed some laundry, got showered and more or less pulled ourselves back together. We were going to go back down into the town for the fiesta when the skies opened again. "Forget it! We´re staying" was the concensus.

Had dinner and enjoyed a great conversation with the other three men. While conversation along the Camino has been very good, its so much nicer to be able to finish a sentence without pausing for breath. Our conversation covered all points of the compass. Some humour has been infectious while other has simply been a way to ease a particularly difficult patch. They are easy men to be with and I will miss them when they have to leave early. I look forward to meeting with them in Toronto in November.

Walking like this also gives, as you can imagine, lots of time to reflect. Needs can become quite basic. Pilgrims are a dime a dozen along here and frequently treated as such. Slights hurt, whether here or at home. After all, you already know you look tired, sweaty and disheveled. But, simple kindnesses speak very loudly as well. - a glass of water or a friendly greeting can do wonders to lift the spirits.How many times do we ( I?? ) have the opportunity to make that simple gesture and let it slip silently by? Hopefully, I will recall my ragged image in a building window when a man gave me a glass of cold water.

Called Mom - surprised her. That was great. ;)

Found a note on my ruck when I returned from my shower - it was from Carina. Seeing my ruck in the corner, she just wanted to wish me well as she went on her way. Made some notes and went to bed.

Ultreya

22 Sept 2006 Zubiri to Pamplona

Dear Aymery

All 4 of us (Vince Leahy, Pierre Arnold, Dave Williamson and I) set out together. Stopped in Larrasoaña for breakfast and then walked on. There is no sense that this is a stroll or amble down shady paths. Dear reader, disabuse yourself of that notion! For me, this is a trudge. We sweat, struggle, watch our footing, pause for breath and simply will ourselves on.The Camino is a sea of mud. A town that supposedly had a restaurant/bar (and therefore, water) didn´t. Bit disappointing.

At the bridge at Zabaldica, we paused to watch some fishermen and cheered when one of them caught a very nice looking fish. After a stiff climb,the Road follows the Rio Arga on a high trail We will follow this rio all the way to Pamplona. Arrived at the edge of Pamplonaq about 3:00 pm. Trudged several kilometers through the city. My right knee is killing me! As we approached the centre of the city, we passed imposing walls, crossed a drawbridge and passed through an old gate into the old town. As tired and sore as I am, I LOVE the vibrancy of the ´barrio antigo´or óld town´of this or any other Spanish city. The narrow streets, cafes and crowds are a delight to the senses.

After some false starts we found our Albergue, run by a nice older couple and their son. While unlimbering our kit, we heard music. I was busy cleaning the mud off my boots beside the open window when a parade of giant paper mache figures passed by. Apparently, Pamplona celebrates the feast of San Fermin twice - once when they have the famous running of the bulls and a second time in the autumn. Well, we were out the door like a shot and down to the square where we had dinner, drinks and all the people-watching you could ask for - all in a very festive atmosphere.

Finished up in a Galego bar sampling orujo. Went to bed tired and sore but pretty satisfied.

Ultreya

21 Sept. 2006 Roncesvalles to Zubiri

Dear Aymery

Woke up stiff and sore. How sore, you might ask? So sore, my hair hurt! Packed quickly, had breakfast in a bar across the street and then - on my way.

The 3 Canadians I had met had left earlier as did the Swedish woman, Carina. On my way alone and liking it. Thank God the terrain is a little flatter. Walked through beech woods to Burguette where I saw others stopped for breakfast. Burguette was made famous by Hemingway as his favourite place to fish for trout. Got lost and went out of my way about 1 km. Doesn´t seem like much but it is.

The Road continued through beautiful woods where the wind blew steadily, cooling me, making the leaves rustle and the light dance. The Road was undulating and, frankly, the uphill stretches were no fun. Past Lintzoain, the Road begins a really grim uphill `portion where you trudge up to Alto de Erro - the highest point on today´s route. Along the way, I passed a stone reputed to be the length of Roland´s pace - 8-9 feet. My pace is down to 8-9 inches, I think.

Reached Zubiri and found my Albergue. Met my 3 Canadian friends again. We got settled down and then went out for a cold drink. Later, during dinner, the skies opened and a driving thunderstorm set in. Lasted all night. Tomorrow does not look like fun.

Ultreya

Sunday, September 24, 2006

20 September 2006

Dear Aymory

Began my assent of the Pass of Cizes at 8:ooam. Its all uphill as you can imagine and, frankly, it´s a heartbreaker. As far as you can see, on bare hills, lies the Road. And on it, small groups and solitary walkers bent both against a shrieking wind and their heavy load. So many times, I thought ´there is no way I can go another step´. Exhausting simply doesn´t come close to describing the feeling. Yet, the scenery is awesome! Rolling mountains, Golden eagles (dozens) soared all around - sometimes as near as 10 - 15 feet overhead. Goshawks, harriers, a type of eagle with striking black and white wings, falcons, kites and kestrels were everywhere. Pity the poor rabbits on the ground. After 6 grueling kilometers, I reached the Virgen d´Órisson - the statue of the Virgin Mary overlooking the stunning views of the Pyrenees. And, Marjan, I remembered.

Eventually I reached the point where the Camino leaves the roadway and becomes a grassy track, upward of course. Along a wooded stretch, I eventually reached the Fountain of Roland, the great friend of Charlemagne and hero of his battles. Filled my canteen and had my lunch of bread, cheese and chorizo. Shared it with the Swedish woman I met who didn´t think to bring any food with her on the climb. We would walk the rest of the day together.

Crossed the cattle grate that marked the border between France and Spain - felt good to be back in Spain again. Spain´s greeting was a long, difficult slog up seemingly endless ascents. I say honestly that it was a grind. At times, I was reduced to 10 paces, rest, 10 paces, rest, etc. The wind shreiked and, naturally, it was in my face. At this rate, I thought, I will do the Camino by nibbling it to death.

Finally, at a point where I was totally beat, I reached Col de Lepoder - the summit. I had climbed 1,450 meters. I looked forward to the downhillroute til I saw it - steep, twisty, rubble-strewn. Down like this is just as hard as up! But part of the route lay through sun-dappled beech woods. The views were stunning and the beauty palpable.

Roncesvalles finally. The monastery dates from about the year 1200 and was constructed to celebrate the victory of Sancho el Fuerte (the Strong) over a Moorish army. He and his wife are buried here and at the foot of his tomb are the chains of Christian prisoners freed from their Moorish captors. Those chains figure today in Spain´s national flag and the flag of Navarra. There are also caskets of bones of pilgrims who died coming over the pass. I understand why!!

Went to the refugio and got my bunk. Met the same people who helped me at Orisson. Had a glass of wine with them. Had dinner a bit later with some other pilgrims. Went to the pilgrim mass celebrated by monks of the monastery. It was a beautiful mass. Hobbled back to the refugio and went to bed.

Ultreya

19 September 2006

Dear Aymery *

What a day. Started off planning to spend it in St. Jean Pied de Port (SJPP) preparing for the Camino proper. During that meditative time staring at myself in the mirror as I shaved, I thought "Why not go now!" What about going part way as I understood that the French government or some organization has certified 2 'gites' or albergues this side of the Spanish border. One is at Honto 6 km up the road and the other is at Orisson 9 km along the way. I thought 9 km would knock off a good piece of the 27 km climb. So, I called the gite at Orisson booked a room and set off.

Bought some chorizo, cheese and bread on my way out of SJPP and left through the 'Spanish Gate'. Immediately the road turned uphill.

The scenery was breathtaking - for more than one reason. I have been walking 8-12 km most days and 18-22 km on weekends. That was NOTHING compared to today. I got past Honto and the grade increased with no end in sight. Now this was mostly a reflection on me, but I was reduced to walking 10- 30 paces, stopping to rest and doing it again and again. Got a muscle cramp in my left calf and thigh that simply would NOT go away which certainly didn´t help. A fountain that was marked on maps has disappeared. But, the views were simply awesome. Everywhere, you hear the sound of cow bells from small heards grazing on high mountain pastures. After five hours, I reached the gite at Orisson. My reservation was not on their books and there was no room. The couple running it were engaged in a screaming match and showed little incentive to help me. I was tossed. To say I was dispirited would be an understatement.

While trying to sort this out, I was approached by a woman who saw my Canadian flag patch on my ruck. She was from Quebec and delighted to meet a fellow Canadian. She, her husband and a French friend were on a driving tour. After chatting a bit, they left. It was shortly after that that I was shooed out by the surly owner. What now!?

Outside were 2 English couples who had found a dog and were waiting for the owner tp show up and claim it. We agreed that I would look after the dog and get a ride back down the mountain with the owner. (Walking downhill is NOT easier than walking uphill - it just stresses different muscles and joints)

The dog and I sat there while the owners yelled and fought with each other. Felt a little glum as the afternoon was ebbing and my options were narrowing. Can you imagine how I felt when the same Quebecoise woman drove past and waved at me?! I flagged her down and in no time my ruck was in their car. But - the dog!. The alberque owners said ´No problem'. They would be delighted to look after it!!!¨"Really", I thought. "What am I? Chopped liver??" It was lost on her but at least I know where I am on the scale of life - somewhere behind a black Lab.

I went to the gite in Honto and had a remarkable late afternoon. and evening.

Met three Canadian fellows. The connections between us were surprising. One man is Vincent Leahy. I saw his post on an internet forum weeks ago. Another is a Brother in the Craft. The connections, shared affiations and people just went on and on. It was uncanny. So, the four of us, Vincent Leahy, David Williamson and Pierre Arnold and I, spent a delightful time on a patio overlooking mountain meadows - watching eagles soaring and hunting, laughing at the antics of sheep being herded past us and generally having a very enjoyable time.

Come evening, we were joined by 7 Irish women and a Swedish woman. It was a terrific meal with lots of humour, good stories and fine conversation - the food wasn´t bad either! I guess I am kind of grateful for what happened at Orisson.

I am NOT looking forward to doing that climb all over again, though.

Night falls fast in the Pyrenees. Before going to bed, I sat out a bit and stared at an inky black sky studded with billions of stars. The Milky Way seemed close enough to touch (In Spain, they call the Milky Way the ´Compostela´- hmmmmm) In spite of a very arduous day, including an icy cold shower, it really has been memorable. You can´t stare at a sky so magnificent and not consider that there is some type of plan at work.

*Now - regrding Áymery´. Aymery Picaud is a French monk who lived in the 12th century. He is credited by some as the author of the Codex Callixtinus, the earliest written description of the Camino de Santiago. As I was struggling my way up the Pass of Cizes, I decided that my beautiful staff, made by my friend Austin Repath, should have a name, as I was increasingly relying on it for support. I have decided to name it Áymery´in honour of Picaud and my journal will henceforth refer to him/it. Hope neither he nor Austin minds

Ultreya.

Thursday, September 21, 2006

17 / 18 September 2006

Left the house at 4:56 pm. Finally on my way. It was an interesting feeling driving away from my home. to ´who-knows-what´down the road. But, all the thought, planning and preparations are over. It´s time for doing now.

Made sure the stones I picked up outside my door were safely tucked away.

Fast check-in and baggage check (all my kit was in a box whose wight probably went up by 2-3 kg from the duct tape).My ruck wasn´t the only piece of un-cooperative kit. I have religiously kept track of the weight of my kit with an old scales. I know my packed weight went up about 5 pounds but at the airport it was up about 12 pounds! At least I have walked with most of that weight for months but I know where that scales is going when I get home!

The plane lifted off at 9:39 pm - next stop Montreal and then Paris. Our route took us east along the waterfront of Toronto. I looked down on the route I have walked for months - it seems like an old friend now.

Arrived in Paris early which was welcomed as I only had 90 minutes to get baggage, clear customs and find the next gate for my connection to Biarritz. It could not have been any further away and still be in France! Made it with 2 minutes to spare! Flight was rough but on time. Bus to Bayonne and then train to St. Jean Pied de Port - the starting point.

Went directly to the Pilgrim´s office to register and then hunted out a cheap hotel. I´m knackered but a decent meal, glass of good wine, hot bath and sound sleep (in a horizontal position) will likely do wonders.

Ultreya

Sunday, September 17, 2006

17 September 2006

Well ...... this is it. Ride to the airport comes at 5:00 pm and flight leaves at 9:00 pm. Just the usual last-minute running around. Down to hours now. Hard to believe that 7-8 months planning and preparation have flashed by. Hard to avoid the "ifida's" - you know: "If I had done this, ...." . Oh well, ruck is packed, boots by the door. Its going to happen.

Final 'stuff' to attend to - only about 3 hours left.

I had a moment to reflect on things as I paused with a cup of coffee. Spoke with a couple of good friends today - 1 in a mall and the other in a huge parade! Both incidents remind me (as if I needed reminding) that I am blessed with wonderful friends. Some I was with in London, earlier this week. Others gathered with me at our favourite club (Royal Canadian Military Institute) to share some drinks, some excellent food and warm friendship. As noted earlier, I shared good times, food and drink with friends from my Order and friends from our Signals Cadet Corps. I have a good business partner in whom I have confidence enough that I can leave to do this pilgrimage. Not much room to complain, is there!!! :)

About an hour left. Enough time for a shower, change into traveling clothes and have a final cup of coffee before the great adventure begins.

Next update will be from Europe :) .

Ultreya

15 September 2006 (ii)

Not much more done. Juggled this with responsibilities for the Order of St. John and ended up with a long (but satisfying) day. Went out for dinner with my mother and with some good friends. One is visiting from Geneva and it is so good to see him again. During the eveneing, we were pleasantly surprised when another friend and his wife came into the same establishment along with some of their family. We ended up with two tables pushed together and had a wonderful time. Reflecting later, (they don't call them 'truisms' for nothing) its the people in your life that matters, not the stuff.

Ultreya

Friday, September 15, 2006

15 September 2006 (i)

It used to be a matter of days. Now, its down to a day and a half! - mere hours. Have worked like crazy to get things done at work - with mixed results. :(

And packing! - that's a whole other matter. If I wasn't satisfied about my ruck before, we are not exactly on friendly terms right now! I think it needs some more work (or whittling down, although its pretty spare as it is).

Oh well - lots to do yet. I'll update this a bit later.

Ultreya

Saturday, September 09, 2006

5 September 2006

Met with a friend who has done the Camino three times. I first met Austin Repath via e-mail. I had read his account of his pilgrimage on the net one morning in late February. Seeing an e-mail link, sent him a note thanking him for taking the time to write it.

Turned out he lived in Toronto too - not all that far away either! Wasn't long before we met for some excellent tapas and superb Spanish wine at my favourite Spanish restaurant (Segovia).

We talked and exchanged ideas - mostly he talked and I listened. I learned a lot from him and when we parted we agreed to stay in touch. He offered to make me a staff if I would like, someting I readily agreed to. We have met a couple of times since.

Today, we met in a downtown pub and he presented me with a beautiful pilgrim's staff. I am touched by the fact that he took the time to craft it and will carry it with pride and pleasure.

My months have shrunk to weeks and now days and they are rapidly dwindling to hours. Am I ready - probably as much as I can be. My business is in good hands, I am as physically prepared as I can be and really all thats left is to simply go and do it. And not think about the total length!!!!!!! :)

Ultreya

2 September 2006

Went for a long walk along the Martin Goodman Trail. I don't know where my head was at but totally forgot about the air show! From HarbourFront west, the trail was PACKED with people. It was like walking in a shopping mall on Boxing Day (for you non-Canadians, this is a traditional shopping day immediately following Christmas day wherein everyone whose craving for crowds and more shopping/spending can get another consumer 'fix' in a day that could best be described a sheer madness).

Eventually, recognized the futility of it and called a halt. Watched the Air Show from a favourite Legion along the waterfront and enjoyed the cold beer. Hey - even pilgrims get thirsty :)

Ultreya

31 August 2006

The past week or so has seen lots of 6 - 10 km walks, mostly along the waterfront. Starting to feel the press of time. More and more things to do and less and less time to do them. Walking is now seeming to become a luxury, a little prize to be captured in off moments. Maybe its just the pressure of getting ready to leave.

Ultreya

Friday, September 08, 2006

21 August 2006

Left home and took the subway to the end of the line (Kipling Station). Walked back with a full ruck. 18.12 kilometers in 4 hours. A good, average pace.

Walking half way across Toronto (I live downtown) is like a trip across cultures. Polish, Ukranian and Maltese bakeries wafting rich aromas of fresh breads and rolls, intense discussions in sidewalk cafes about the demise of the Soviet Union and the Ukraine's place in the world, churches with names like St. Stanislaus and St. Casimir.

A little further along, the language and accents change to the more sibliant sounds of Portuguese and Italian. Groups of men standing outside cafes and bars arguing and discussing everything from politics to 'the old country'; soccer games from Europe flickering on silent screens (and cold Moretti beer that I can almost taste).

Passing on my way, I see the signs changing to Korean. Blocks later comes Chinese. All these neighbourhoods just run together creating a vibrant city. And, this is the best place in the world to be during world cup!! As I passed a churasquiria, there is still a flag waving. Spanish spoken under a Mexican flag. Makes you wonder why people can't get along elsewhere - and it worries me when people bring all their disputes and problems here.

Soon into busy main streets by the university. Late evening shoppers hustling about and trendy cafes. Such a contrast between these glass and chrome bars and the more basic plain rooms with open fronts and animated groups surrounding the tables.

And on down through the neighbourhoods towards home. I think my feet know they are getting closer to home! Sore, but no blisters.

And finally, the pleasure of slipping a heavy ruck off aching shoulders and easing boots off tired feet. That cold beer splashing against the back of my throat was much appreciated! Bet I'll sleep well tonight.

Ultreya

18 - 20 August

From notes in journal

Spent the past few days working on my ruck. Seems that it is never exactly the way I want it. Is there a lesson here? lol

Bought some kit and prepared some paperwork such as lists of albegues or refugios, a terrific planner and profile of the route compliments of godesalco.com and a general itinerary.

Not much walking done but necessary preparations.

Ultreya

One Month To Go

Notes written in my journal on 17 August 2006.

17 August 2006 0730

Well, one month from today, I leave for Paris to begin my camino. Its interesting that it started out as "the camino" but, over the months of planning and preparation, it has become "my camino".

Don't know what I'll find (if anything) or what will happen but I'm open to just about anything. Pehaps today will be auspicious - beautiful morning, lovely sunrise, cool and quiet. I love walking through dewy grass, hearing the sibliant swish as the blades paint delicate lines on my boots. Looking behind and seeing ghost tracks across the park meadow, first ones already drying in the sun.

In my neighbourhood, we have a farm, a working model of a mid-1800's Ontario farm. Here, in the centre of our large city, I can pause and watch cattle [both of them :) ] calmly enjoying fresh hay while the subways fill with workers and the expressways jam with motorists - I wonder who is enjoying their morning more! I think this presages more of what I will see on the camino.

Not happy or satisfied with my rucksack, but then, am I ever? I'm sure I will have it sorted out by the time I leave (yeah, right!). Feet are better today. I rarely have gotten blisters over the months I have been walking but when I do - wow are they ever big! (and painful). Usually my duct tape under two pairs of socks works very well but every now and then the system fails and its out with the needle and thread to drain. Had to laugh though - the sole of my left foot looked like a seamstress' bad dream with multi-coloured threads hanging out everywhere!

My favourite little chapel was locked this morning. Sometimes open, sometimes closed, no reliable schedule. Perhaps someone is concerned that God could get in! Or, even worse, a child of God. Oh well, the real chapel is by a towering maple tree under the canopy of heaven

Ultreya

Monday, August 07, 2006

Why

Why. What a wonderful question . Why would anyone walk 800+ kilometers on an old path? Why live out of a rucksack with only basic kit for 30-40 days? Why do this in a foreign country, far from home?

The simple answer is 'don't know'. I suppose, one could offer a more acceptable answer such as 'holiday' or adventure' but saying 'pilgrimage' is fun. The look on some people's faces is worth it!

Although everyone is invariably polite, you often see that little flicker in their eyes that seems to say - 'oh oh, he's losing it' or 'poor guy, must be stress in his life - probably things not going well' or 'thought he was a little weird'.

I mean, really, how can you explain this? But, if you have ever talked with people who have done it (as I have on several occasions), it's as if they intuitively know why. Can't articulate it, but the smile is genuine.

Perhaps, I will be able to answer the question when I return. But, then again, maybe not. :)

Ultreya